I'm a BIG Boy Now!

No, I didn't have a special surgery this Christmas (although I would probably get a lot more hits on my blog if I did). Peter is the big boy or at least he and I think so. Although he has been crawling up onto to chairs for months now, he's just realized that he can sit on them like everybody else. Whenever he sees people sitting at a table he thinks he should join them. He scoots to the front of the chair, leans forward, rests his arms and hands on the table and grins with pride (then he makes lame jokes and we are forced to laugh out of politeness...oh, wait that's my dad!). So even though his chin barely rises above the table, I think Peter looks like such a big boy. Where did my baby go?

Too Busy

Due to the Christmas hullabaloo I haven't had much time for blogging (I know, I know, I'm crying too!). Hopefully, I'll post a thorough outline of Christmas soon (try to contain your excitement). In the meantime here's my brief summary:

I celebrated Christmas (unlike Peter, I had pants on most of the time).

I spent time with family (I didn't want to, but apparently Christmas is a "family" holiday and so I was forced to interact with a bunch of enjoyable and funny relatives that I love—totally unfair!).

I cleaned up Christmas morning chaos (how do a handful of presents create mountains of packaging?).

I played with Peter's new toys (having a kid is awesome—I get to play with toys!).

And I fought to save Princess Peach on my new Nintendo DS Lite! (I have the best husband.)

Merry Christmas!

My New Favorite Thing

I've been hesitant to share my new favorite thing on my blog because whenever I talk about it I start gushing like a 13-year-old girl blathering about Edward from Twilight. I was worried that by adding extra letters to my words ("sooooo"), capitalizing every other word, never capitalizing "I", and using "like" and "totally" 12 times in 1 sentence (if I even bother with punctuation) that I would lose the respect of my readers. Then I realized two things: 1. I have few readers; and 2. You probably don't respect me anyway. So here is my post about my new favorite thing.

OH MY GOSH! i like totally love my new hair straightener its sooooo AWESOME and freakin hot! It makes me like so SAD that not everyone has one i mean just girls because DUH like why would boys need one unless they have like totally frizzy hair, ewww! My straightener is like the best thing EVERRRRRRR! Seriously, it has like changed my life, i LOOOOOVE it!

Okay, now that that is out of my system I can revert to my regular intelligence (a 15-year-old?). I got a new hair straightener (flat-iron) as an early Christmas present from Ryan (well, he paid for it). My old $27 Wal-Mart special straightener has never been very good (or straightening) so I've been wanting a new one for a long time but could never justify buying one. And while I don't need a straightener to straighten my hair (it's about as curly as pine needle) I do need one to depoof it. I have a ton of hair; for about the past 18 years I hear the same thing everytime I get my haircut, "Wow, you have soooo MUCH hair!" (No, I don't have 13-year-olds cut my hair.) Plus my hair is relatively coarse, so when you add the coarseness to the thickness I've got a bush on my head. I think hairstylists sometimes spend more time actually thinning my hair than cutting it into a style. So combined with a good blow dryer job, a straightener performs miracles by easily flattening my hair (or more accurately lessening the poodle effect). Unfortunately, I'm never able to acheive the same results that my hairstylists do; I've always chalked that up to my lack of skill and patience. It takes too much time to subdue this mane of mine and because my hair is as perky and persistent as a girl scout selling cookies, my hair usually poofs backs up a few hours later.

I've recently started having my friend Trianna do my hair (she is amazing) and complained to her (something most friends do together) about my poofy hair. She suggested I get a new straightener. After taking 2 seconds deciding to use her advice as my much needed reason to get a new one I asked her for her help. She generously picked a high-quality straightener out for me and then bought it with her professional discount. (This is Ryan's easiest Christmas gift for me ever; he just had to reimburse Trianna!) Well, I've been using it for a few days now and I am totally in love. It is so awesome the way it quickly wrangles my unruly hair into nice smooth locks of luscious hair. And the results last. Yep, my straightener is my new favorite thing and for good reasons.

(If you are wondering why I haven't included a picture of my gorgeously flat hair with this post, you do not know me at all.)

Update: After much pressure from Ryan I've decided to post photos of my hair (he says it is cowardly and dishonest to not give proof of my new favorite thing). So here are 2 not-so-good photos that give an idea of my hair; they were the best I could do.

I ♥ Photoshop

Photoshop is the greatest thing ever created (besides Peter). Peter's best smiles for the camera never seem to coincide with a clean face or neutral background. But thanks to Photoshop I can turn this

into this

Now it's ready for grandparents and Christmas present worthy!

The Modern Age: iPod Meme

Ryan and Peter enjoying some music on Ryan's iPod

Do you remember those awesome cootie catchers that all the girls did in elementary school? Somehow we all thought that a piece of precisely folded paper, sparkly gel pens and embarrassing questions were the key to our inner selves and future. Basically it was a playground magic 8 ball. Well, now that I am adult I no longer believe in the powers of cootie catchers (last week Ryan explained to me the truth about those). So I have turned to the wisdom of an Internet meme. I first saw this particular iPod meme a few months ago on a friend's blog and have since seen it in several different incarnations. Since I am in desperate need of cosmic guidance and introspection (my psychic is on vacation) I thought I would give this a whirl.

Put your iPod on Shuffle and hit play. For each question (they're in italics), press the next button to get your answer. The song title is the answer to the question. You must write down the name of the song no matter how silly it sounds! No cheating! Put any comments in brackets after the song name.

If someone says, “Is this okay?” I say?
"Lets Call It Off (Single Mix)" by Pete Bjorn & John
[Apparently I’m either afraid of commitment or have unrealistic expectations of perfection.]

How would I describe myself?
"A Time to be So Small" by Interpol
[How does my iPod know I hate being short? Is my Napoleon complex that obvious?]

How do I feel today?
"Holiday in Spain/Big Yellow Taxi" by Counting Crows[Okay, so I don’t ever remember hearing this song before and now that I’m listening to it I’ve decided that this will be the last time. But I would like to have a holiday in Spain.]

What's my life's purpose?
"Breathe" by Prodigy
[Wow, thanks for the vote of confidence! My iPod hates me.]

What's my theme song?
"Let’s Face the Music and Dance" by Frank Sinatra
[Interesting. I’m usually a run and hide kind of person. And my dancing? The less said about it the better (this girl’s got no rhythm).]

What does everyone else think my theme song is?
"Behind the Wheel" by Depeche Mode
[As a control freak I don't like to be a passenger, at least a quiet one. Do what I say!]

What do my friends think of me?
"Little Things" by Bush
[Hmmm…multiple ways to take this. 1. They all think I’m short (what does my iPod have against short people?); 2. They think I do very little for them; 3. Or according to the lyrics “the little things that kill,” my friends think I’m a psycho killer. I think I’ll take number 1]

What do I think of my friends?
"Pinball Wizard" by the Who
[Really, you should see them in action.]

What do I think of my parents?
"Dancing in Heaven" by Q Feel
[Well, my parents aren’t dead. But since there is no song on my iPod entitled “They are way awesome” I guess this will have to do. The funny thing about this song is whenever I hear it I flashback to me bouncing up and down in the backseat of my mom’s VW Rabbit with this song on the car radio.]

What do I think about very often?
"So Much Things to Say" by Bob Marley
[I guess there’s too many things that I think about that I can only tell you there are a lot of things. Also, I think all these things with bad grammar.]

What is 2+2?
"Photograph" by Weezer
[I always take photos of myself solving complex arithmetic problems—I need proof that I can do 1st grade math.]

What do I think of my best friend?
"Full Fathom Five" by the Stone Roses
[That doesn’t even make sense.]

What do I think of the person I like?
"Takin’ Care of Business" by Bachman Turner Overdrive
[So that’s probably more information than you wanted to know about Ryan and me!]

What do I think of when I see the person I like?
"Cold Brains" by Beck
[Crap, now I’m in trouble. I just want to say that this is a silly little meme and means absolutely nothing. I love you Ryan (plus I think you have HOT brains.]

What's my life story?
"1973" by James Blunt
[Well since I wasn’t born in 1973 maybe this means something that happened in 1973 is my life story. So here’s a sampling of important events from that year: Nixon’s 2nd inauguration, Roe v. Wade, Vietnam War ends, Watergate, Dark Side of the Moon by Pink Floyd released, the Yom Kippur War.]

What do I want to be when I grow up?
"Knights of Cydonia" by Muse
[I love this song. It would be pretty cool to be a Knight of Cydonia—then I’d could hang out with Muse.]

What will I dance to at my wedding?
"Brand New Colony" by The Postal Service
[I hope this doesn’t mean I will be married again. I’m quite pleased with the colony Ryan and I have started.]

What will they play at my funeral?
"Here With Me" by Dido
[I guess I will be a ghost.]

How will I be remembered?

"One Slip" by Pink Floyd

[Is this referring to my death (I am a klutz) or to my parents one slip up? The fact this song is on the album entitled, "A Momentary Lapse of Reason" lends credence to the parents theory. I'm a mistake.]

What is my hobby/interest?

"This is the Place" by Red Hot Chili Peppers
[Is that referring to my computer or to my house? Well, I guess both are true.]

What is my biggest fear?

"High" by James Blunt

[Another multi-pronged answer; is it referring to heights or marijuana? Neither scares me, but I’m a little perturbed with my iPod because I don’t even really like James Blunt and yet he pops up twice on this.]

What is my biggest secret?

"Linger" by The Cranberries
[If you stick around I’ll tell you.]

How can I make myself happy?

"In the Arms of Sleep" by The Smashing Pumpkins

[I know my dad will probably accuse me of cheating on this one but I didn't. I love sleep, sleep makes me happy! And now I have the blessing of the iTunes meme to sleep as much as I want or at least as much as Peter will let me.]

What should I do with my life?

"One Night in Bangkok" by Murray Head

[Shoot, I was hoping for some real guidance here and instead I got a partial vacation itinerary. I feel cheated; I want more than one night.]

What is some good advice for me?

"Aliens Exist" by Blink-182

[In the next few weeks I will be moving to Roswell, New Mexico to take take a job at the UFO Museum and Research Center. There I will be able to combine my degree in Art History and Curatorial Studies with my new belief in aliens. Please plan on visiting me, I would love to have visitors (including those of an extraterrestrial nature.)]

What will I post this as?

"The Modern Age" by The Strokes
[Hey, that’s kind of cute because only in the modern age could I be doing a meme for my blog using my iPod.]

Now that I'm done I'm thinking that maybe this has the same reliabilty factor as a cootie catcher. But then again I probably feel that way because I’m still ticked about the James Blunt repeat (you’d think that with almost 10,000 songs I wouldn’t have any repeat artists) and the Counting Crows' song. And I’ve probably offended Ryan. I guess my iPod doesn’t know me very well (except for the whole short thing). I better finish this post; I need to find a 4th grade girl to reteach me how to make a cootie catcher.

Crap!

You know you're a parent when your husband calls to you from upstairs with the words, "Hey, Kristin. Do you want to see the BIGGEST poop ever?" When did my life get so crappy? (I'm sorry, I couldn't resist!) I remember when Ryan and I used to discuss important topics. You know like who has the largest nose in our neighborhood, or why do beans cause gas. Okay, so maybe our conversations weren't always composed of mature topics, contemplative observations, or witty banter, but it is amazing how a having a baby really pitched our conversations into the crapper. Sorry, it's just too easy to make crap jokes—see what parenthood has done to me (if I was honest I would admit that I've always had a fondess for potty humor, now I just have an excuse.) Oh, and Ryan was referring to Peter's poop, just in case you were wondering.

Oops...Don't Play With That

Recently I was going through some boxes to help dejunk and organize my house—not an easy task with a toddler who has his own ideas of where things belong (does anyone else keep their spatulas on a shoe rack?). In one box I found a desktop punching bag I had given Ryan several years ago as a stocking stuffer. If you flick it says 4 different phrases: 1) You're Fired, 2) Make My Day, 3) Back Off, and 4) You Jerk. It's pretty lame even for a $3 gag gift (hence finding it a box). But since Peter doesn't have a clear grasp of what is cool and what is lame yet, he loves it. He's been carrying it around the house for a few days now.

But tonight I robbed my sweet son of his new companion and evidence of poor taste, by throwing it away (yes, I know I'm the one with the poor taste because I'm the adult who actually paid money for it). I just had this awful thought that even though Peter can't talk yet he might somehow bust out with one of those 4 phrases. Wouldn't it be awesome to record in Peter's baby book that his first words were "You Jerk!" Or wouldn't I love to hear him yell "Back off!" to his pediatrician or tell his nursery leader, "You're fired!" Yep, I certainly couldn't let that happen—I must at least retain the appearance of being a good mom.

The Angry Drunk

For over a year Peter's pediatrician and I have been concerned about Peter's language skills. We expected Peter to have delays in several (if not all) developmental areas because he was 5 weeks premature, but his language delays seemed to be more severe than what prematurity could account for. Earlier this year, two separate Speech and Language Pathologists (SLPs)identified Peter as having profound delays in both receptive and expressive language. At 18 months, his language skills were placed at the level of a 4 or 5 month old infant. This delay was one of many factors in Peter being diagnosed with an Autism Spectrum Disorder.

Peter's developmental pediatrician, SLP, and I wondered if part of Peter's severe language delays were caused in part to Auditory Neuropathy. Auditory Neuropathy is a hearing disorder in which sound enters the inner ear normally but the transmission of signals from the inner ear to the brain is impaired. For example, a person with Auditory Neuropathy may be able to hear sounds, but would still have difficulty recognizing spoken words. Sounds may fade in and out for these individuals and seem out of sync. We knew from hearing tests Peter had at birth and at 15 months that he was not hearing impaired. However, he continued to show signs of a hearing loss including severe to profound delays in language, poor speech perception, hypo and hypersensitivities to noise, and difficulties in getting his attention (although in recent months he's been getting better in all these areas).

Fortunately, it is very easy to test for Auditory Neuropathy. A diagnosis requires a normal or positive OAE (that's the simple test they usually give newborns in the hospital) and an abnormal Auditory Brainstem Response (ABR). Peter already had two normal OAEs so he just needed to have a sedation ABR. The test monitors brain wave activity in response to sound using electrodes that are placed on the person's head and ears and it must be performed on a resting/quiet person. And since it is impossible to get a toddler to lay quietly for over an hour toddlers are sedated for the test. Normal sedation causes brain activity to decrease, so toddlers are given a conscious sedation. This combined with prior sleep deprivation allows people to sleep soundly during the test.

Peter finally had the ABR this past Wednesday (after almost 3 months of waiting to get in!). Per the doctor's instructions, Peter could not go to bed until midnight Tuesday night. We then woke him a few minutes before 6 am and gave him 4 ounces of apple juice. Peter was not allowed to have any solid food or milk after midnight, and nothing including water after 6:30. Once Peter was awake we couldn't let him nap for even 5 minutes. I had to sit in the backseat with him on our 50 minute drive to Primary Children's Hospital to keep him awake. We arrived at the hospital at 8:45 am. After being admitted, the nurse put an ID tag on Peter's ankle that he furiously tried to get off.

Up to that point Peter had been incredibly good. When Ryan and I had received the instructions to cut 6 hours out of Peter's sleep the night before and to not feed him in the morning, we thought that Peter would be a nightmare. This is a boy who hates getting up early in the morning (so much like his mother!) and wants a bottle of milk as soon as he is awake. So we were pleasantly surprised when Peter was so calm Wednesday morning (apparently sleep deprivation occasionally has its benefits). Over the next hour we met with a couple of nurses, the audiologist, and the anaesthesiologist to discuss the sedation, test, etc. Peter stayed busy and awake during this hour by playing with the hospital bed in the room. Now he wants a bed with buttons that light up, move the bed, and call a nurse.

At 10 Peter was sedated. Because it wasn't meant to knock him out, I had to rock him to sleep. He fell asleep after about 10 minutes of rocking and listening to me sing (I think he fell asleep to escape my awful voice). At that point I put him in the hospital crib and the nurse hooked him up to various monitors. (I know the picture below is really dark, but I didn't want a flash to wake him up and the photos taken at an higher ISO were too noisy to use.) The audiologist then came in and put two electrodes on Peter's forehead, one behind each ear, and a small earphone in each ear. Then she began the test and Ryan fell asleep.

The audiologist finished the test in under an hour. I immediately knew that the test had gone well because if the test doesn't take the full 90 to 120 minutes that usually means few or no problems were found. After waking Ryan up, the audiologist then gave us the good news: Peter definitely does not have Audiotory Neuropathy and the results of the ABR combined with previous testing rule out any auditory issues! Peter already has enough working against him so we were both very excited and relieved by the results.

Next came the fun part: we had to wake Peter up. The anesthesiologist warned us that it might take a little while for Peter to wake up and that when he did he might act a "little drunk." Their plan was to wake him, give him some juice, and then observe him for 30 minutes up to several hours. They wanted to make sure that Peter wasn't too nauseated, could keep liquids down, and that his gross motor skills were close to normal. So we spent over 15 minutes trying to wake him up (it's amazing what a wet washcloth and picking his nose can do!).

Once he was awake, Peter was one cranky kid. When the doctor said Peter would act drunk, he wasn't kidding. But instead of getting the maudlin drunk or the crazy drunk, we got the angry drunk. Now I should have seen this coming because both times Ryan has come out of anaesthesia since we've been married he's been an absolute beast. He's angry and he swears more in 1 minute than he usually does in 1 year. Peter was pretty much the same (minus the swearing). He cried, screamed, kicked and thrashed. He really wanted to run but considering he couldn't even sit up without falling that was not an option. His equilibrium was completely off and his muscles were like noodles. He refused to drink anything and basically wouldn't do anything but scream and try to get down from the crib or Ryan's arms. The anaesthesiologist decided to go ahead and send Peter home. He said that if he was fighting us as much as he was, he was probably okay. So we headed home with a raging kid and a stack of instructions. Fortunately, Peter went to sleep when we got home. When he woke up that evening he had transformed into a loopy and fun drunk. Lots of staggering, lots of tumbles (don't worry, we kept him away from hard and sharp objects), lots of laughs and lots of goofy grins. Now we just need to convince him midnight is not a reasonable bedtime!

Mmm...New Carpet Smell

I think I am officially domesticated (and lame). If someone would have told me when I was fifteen that as an adult new carpet and doors would make me happy I would have laughed; what kind of pathetic person gets excited about those things? ME!

When Ryan and I bought our house we planned on immediately replacing the carpet in the family room, the bedrooms and on the stairs (I'd post a picture of the old carpet but then I would be completely embarrassed). Unfortunately, reality set in and other less expensive house projects took precedence. Now 4 ½ years later we finally have new carpet. AND I LOVE IT (because I am lame). Seriously, this is one of the best things to have happened to me all year (so, I like to exaggerate a bit). As soon as the installer finished laying the carpet in the family room I ran down there and spent a good 10 minutes doing carpet angels (I'm easily entertained). And every time I come home I stand just inside the door and deeply inhale the lovely new carpet smell. Not only does the carpet smell good, it feels good. I've stopped wearing socks despite the cold winter temperatures just so I can run my feet over the soft, springy fibers. I'm sure if my fifteen-year-old self could see/feel/smell my new carpet she would think it was pretty awesome.

Peter thinks the new carpet is awesome too. Well, actually he just liked the wide open room and the carpet remnants. If you turn the volume up high enough you can hear his heavy breathing from all the running he was doing!

We also put in new french doors that lead out to the backyard. The previous doors were almost as hashed as the carpet (parts of exterior molding fell off when I tried cleaning them). And the blinds on them have been broken for years. So Ryan and I decided to replace the doors. We ended up buying the the french doors with the built in blinds (they tilt and raise with simple sliders). Whoever came up with the idea to put the blinds between the glass is a genius (anyone who makes a product that requires little or no dusting qualifies for genius status). A big part of the decision to get these was the awful visions I had of 6-year-old Peter running in and out of those doors 800 times a day. The idea of hearing the blinds rattle everytime he threw open the doors and slammed them shut was more than I could handle. So no dusting, and reduced noise sold me. My dad and Opa generously offered to install them to help save Ryan and me money (the cost for professional installation was over half the price for the doors). And since they are both incredibly skilled in construction we knew they would do a great job (they had to because I know where they live!). Thank you Dad and Opa! We really appreciate your help. Without you I couldn't do carpet angels on my new carpet while looking out my new doors (does life get any better than that?).