And to You February I Bid Adieu

When I became pregnant, I arrogantly and naively vowed that I would not be one of those mothers that puts her kids in so many activities that they have a hard time finding an open slot in their schedules to brush their teeth. I was going to smartly sift through the available extra-curricular offerings allowing my children to expand and develop their talents (and create new ones) and still have a fun and carefree childhood. I knew at some point I would devolve into the proverbial chauffeur/personal assistant for my children. I just always expected it to happen when I had multiple older kids—not a single 2-year-old!

Every Monday and Wednesday Peter has preschool. Unfortunately the preschool is at his EI center (Early Intervention) which is a 20 to 25 minute drive (I spend a lot of time in the car on those days). On Fridays he has a Kindermusik class at EI. Peter is also visited by an EI Specialist twice a month and a SLP (Speech Language Pathologist) once a month. Those things combined with the daily speech therapy and autism therapy we do at home keep Peter and I comfortably active.

By nature I am not one of those busy people who likes/has to be doing something all the time, so it was with horror that I looked at my calendar for the month of February. Thanks to Peter, I had at least one thing scheduled for every weekday in February except one. In addition to the things above we had extra events that crowded our calender. We're starting a new autism therapy with Peter that required a couple of home visits from a therapist. We updated Peter's EI goals so we had to meet with our EI Family Advocate and EI Specialist. When you put those all together with our regular activities and add in doctor's appointments for Peter and me, we were extra busy in February. My calendar has more than a few blanks for March and I'm practically giddy about it.

First Day of School

Peter started school today. Wait a minute! How old is that kid? He can't possibly be old enough for preschool already! At the suggestion of Peter's doctor, Ryan and I have been thinking for several months about placing Peter in an early preschool but were concerned about finding a quality one that would help Peter with his Austism Spectrum Disorder. Fortunately, the Early Intervention service that helps Peter has an early education center on site. So after discussing it with his EI team we decided to have him go there. So now my little will-be-2-in-February-boy is going to preschool for 5 hours a week. Peter will go 2 hours on Mondays and 3 on Wednesdays.

Young McPetey Had A Farm

Animals are taking over our house. But at least they are small, don't smell or shed, and never pee on the carpet (unlike Peter). Peter's SLP (Speech and Language Pathologist) Gayleen and his EIS (Early Intervention Specialist) Lindsey want me to use animals as part of Peter's daily home therapy. So Peter received several animal themed toys for Christmas. ("Peter NEEDS this Ryan. It's for his therapy; it will really help his Autism.")

One of the cutest toys is a Farm Memory Game by Little Tikes. It's a plastic egg carton with animals and eggs. There are 10 little animals that can be split in half. You separate the bottom from the top, then hide the pieces under the included egg cups. Peter loves this toy. He likes opening the carton, taking apart the eggs, finding the animals and putting them back in the carton (he's still a little too young to match the animals, so we keep them whole). But his favorite thing is to take the animals and line them up on a table. Then he moves them to the coffee table, then a chair, then a bookshelf, then the stairs, then the couch, then back to the table.

One of the most prevalent Autism Spectrum behaviors Peter has is his obsessive need/want to order and line objects up. Several months ago he would literally spend an hour moving 6 bottles of haircare products from one location to another on the second floor. He would carefully move the objects, organize them to his liking then immediately pick them up and start the entire process over. He would melt down if someone tried interrupting his process or moved things out of his order. Most of the time he would "play" with his toys this way unless someone was right there making him play with the toys correctly. Peter's doctor and EIS told Ryan and me that we needed to interrupt and prevent Peter from doing this lining up too much. While it's okay for him to do it occasionally for short periods of time it isn't okay for it to make up most of his solitary play. I've been working really hard since October to distract and redirect Peter when he starts lining things up.

Fortunately, Peter has made a lot of improvement; now most days he only does it once or twice for about 10 minutes. Then I bought those cute Little Tikes animals and the temptation was too much. Peter loves lining those animals up. Oops. I've had to hide them and only bring them out for a short time each day. Peter and I have a fun time moving those animals around. I try to make it more interactive by performing stunningly accurate imitations of animal sounds (except for the bunnny; what noise does a bunny make?) and requiring Peter to point and sign. Now if I could only get Peter to think cleaning and organizing the house is fun...

Oh Peter, You're So Pretty

I can’t wait until Peter is 13 and has a group of his friends at our house; I also can’t wait to meet his first serious girlfriend. Why? Well, so I can bust out with “Oh, Peter do you remember when you were 1 ½ and you <insert embarrassing behavior or action. > You were so adorable.” (Of course I’ll say this while pinching his cheek.) It will be hilarious to embarrass my son (hey, my parents did it, your parents did it, and you’ll do it to your kids, too!) And Peter has given me some rather good ammunition these past two weeks. I can already hear him wretchedly moaning, “Moooooooommmmm!”

One morning two weeks ago, I put my hairbrush on the bathroom counter after brushing my hair. A couple of minutes later when I went to pick it up, it was gone. Now this is nothing new—Peter loves to clear off my bathroom counter by taking everything I touch and putting it in either the bathtub, trashcan, or hallway. But this time I turned around and Peter was behind me trying to brush his hair with my brush. A few minutes later I found him with my eyelash curler; he would shut one of his eyes and press the closed curler against his eyelid; I guess he thought his ridiculously long eyelashes needed a bit of curl. (It should be against the laws of nature for a boy to have longer eyelashes than his mother!) Now, Peter brushing his hair and curling his eyelashes probably don’t seem like a big deal, but they are actually very exciting developments. They are the first time Peter has spontaneously imitated a task-oriented action not dealing with food. Toddlers on the Autism Spectrum often don’t mimic everyday activities. So, GO PETER!

(Unfortunately, every time I tried taking his picture, Peter would lower the eyelash curler so he could see the camera with both eyes)

Well, Peter has repeated his beautifying routine several times while picking up a new favorite activity: he loves to empty out my makeup bag. He then lines all the products up on the floor, and then transports them individually into his room (he seems to be particularly fond of the MAC eye shadow). I don’t know who enjoys this new play sequence more, Peter or me (it’s great fun to watch Ryan roll his eyes when he sees Peter do this). Now while the makeup sorting and eyelash curler are embarrassing, I think Peter did something last Friday that will cause his cheeks to turn permanently red when he’s older. As I was putting on my bra Friday, Peter started shaking his shoulders and bending his knees. I couldn't figure out what he was doing until I realized that that is what I do! I never paid attention before, but when I put on my bra I twist my shoulders and slightly bounce my knees (basically a mild shimmy). Yes, Peter imitated my putting on my bra. And he did it again yesterday. Maybe it’s time Peter starts watching Ryan get ready in the mornings (5:00 am wakeup call for Peter!).

Autism Spectrum Disorder

On Tuesday Peter was diagnosed as having Austism Spectrum Disorder, meaning he has autism. Currently, the Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) category includes:

1. Autistic disorder (“classic” autism);
2. Asperger’s Syndrome;
3. Pervasive Developmental Disorder Not Otherwise Specified (PDD-NOS) or atypical autism;

Because of his age (20 months) and relatively absent language skills, Peter has been given the umbrella diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder. By the time he is 2 ½ or 3 years old, they will be able to accurately identify which of three disorders listed above he has. (For sake of clarity, the medical community calls all three ASDs autism, but the term autistic is reserved for those who have Autistic disorder—confusing isn’t it!)

At Peter’s six-month well-child exam I had some concerns that I discussed with his pediatrician. In fact, I flat out told him I thought Peter might have autism. He deftly assuaged my worry informing me that it really is not possible to diagnosis autism before 18 months of age. Also the fact that Peter was 5 weeks premature could just as easily account for his delays and behavior. However, he told me that my concerns were legitimate and we would need to keep an eye on Peter. Well, almost fourteen months later we finally have a diagnosis.

No parent wants to hear her child has a disorder, however, a diagnosis can provide direction, validation, and a modicum of relief. While I didn’t want Peter to have an Autism Spectrum Disorder, I did want to know what was going on and what Ryan and I could do to help him. We now have answers (and many new questions). Peter may still have Auditory Neuropathy or an Auditory Processing Disorder in addition to autism, but no matter what he has autism. (He is scheduled to undergo a brain-stem test in December to determine if he has Auditory Neuropathy.)

We are still trying to process what all this means and figure out where to go from here (we’re Amazon.com’s new favorite friend). We are trying to sift through the inordinate amount of information available. Unfortunately, opinion and anecdotal evidence, instead of science, seems to be in the majority. We’re confused, but we’re confused with a purpose. Thankfully all this means nothing to Peter right now. He only thinks we have been taking him to offices so he can play with nice people and different toys.

I want to thank everyone who has expressed their love and concern for Peter, Ryan and me in the past few months. It is reassuring to know how many people care about our little family and our adorable little guy. I know that it is sometimes hard to know what to say and that there is always the worry of saying the wrong thing, but I want to assure you that just saying something and acknowledging our situation has given us comfort. Those who have given support in simple ways have made a huge impact. Thank you.